Early in my publishing career I was advised to “Work harder on yourself than you do on your job”. This was the single best advice I’ve ever been given. It may sound counterintuitive to what we are taught at school – get great grades and work hard to achieve success – but it’s your soft skills that will make the greatest difference in your career.  

Although trickier to learn than ‘hard’ (technical) skills, developing great soft skills is an important part of your personal and professional development, regardless of your role. Getting on with colleagues, clients, partners, agents or suppliers is vital to sustaining your position and being promoted.  

Working harder on yourself includes building a wide range of soft skills, such as communication, negotiation, conflict resolution, self-management, overcoming self-sabotage, managing others, leadership, self-awareness, self-confidence, presentation skills and problem solving.

Developing the ‘soft’ skills you need

I’ll take you through the basics of how to develop some key soft skills that will help you progress in your chosen publishing sector and job discipline and set you up for a lifetime of success – providing you continue upskilling throughout your career.

The first basic soft skill is how to overcome inner self-sabotage, the fear of failure – and of success. We’re familiar with the fear of failure, but less known is the fear of success, often the real reason behind the fear.

We don’t fear success, rather what it might cost us.

Especially the kind of success that changes everything – from taking a promotion and leaving friends behind, to your partner feeling conflicted by your achievement and where it might leave them. When I’m coaching people in publishing, I’ve seen how these fears can literally stop the person fulfilling their true potential. The good news is that there are plenty of things you can do to combat this.

To manage this in coaching, we discuss the possible causes of these fears. Often, what’s revealed is conflicting fears, unconscious self-sabotaging, limiting beliefs around what ‘sacrifices’ may have to be made to succeed.

Other common fears are:

• If I don’t try, then I haven’t actually failed. I can continue to delude myself that I’m doing great. But the reality is that we’re going to be left behind whilst other, less qualified people will overtake us.
• I’ll be lonely, as I’ll leave behind friends and outgrow loved ones when I succeed.
• Imposter syndrome, asking “Who do I think I am to even try this?”
• Procrastination: I’m quite not ready yet, maybe next year will be the ‘perfect’ time.
• I’m not sure I can handle all the extra workload involved.

To counter this, we reinforce new beliefs to arrest self-sabotage. Small steps begin to change our beliefs and make a BIG difference.

✅ Set new goals to match your true strengths. For example, if you’re creative, learn new creative ways to try different things in your current role. Then set your sights on a more ambitious goal to exploit your talent.

✅ Challenge your perceived comfort zone, do small regular stretchy things to break out of your comfort zone.

✅ Find a mentor to inspire you to go further. This can be someone you know, or someone you can model.

✅ Remember that success is rarely overnight, so you’ll get plenty of time to handle each step.

✅ Only share your ambition with those who will fully support you. This may not be your partner … not yet!

✅ To stay as you are and play small is often a poor option, as you’ll go backwards.

Speaking out in meetings

The second basic soft skill to learn is how to overcome your nerves in meetings at work.

How do you to find your voice in a crowded meeting with strong personalities? Remember, you don’t need permission from anyone to speak up, especially in group meetings.

You may be the quiet thoughtful type that prefers observing and considering before jumping in. However, if you’re in the room, you’re there to make a contribution, so you need to be more vocal and show visibility to your boss and colleagues.

You don’t have to change your personality or become someone you’re not. Instead, develop your own authentic style and voice of speaking up.

Some tips on getting started:

• Before the meeting starts, prepare by writing down possible questions or observations
• Say something out loud early on, even if it’s only about the weather (hearing your own voice soothes self-consciousness, modulates adrenaline rush and calms your nerves)
• Never fear asking stupid questions. I’ve spent my career asking dumb questions. Remember someone else is thinking the same. Try prefacing with “this might be a stupid question, but …”
• If you find yourself rambling, stop talking and say, “and this is my point”. Miraculously, you’ll get to the point!
• If others dominate, put your hand up to signal it’s your turn.

Have fun with self-discovery and remember to work harder on yourself than you do on your job!

Greg Evaristo is a Leadership Coach, Headhunter and Non-Executive Director within book publishing. He runs his own consultancy, GE Consulting.

Feel free to connect with him on LinkedIn.